18. Just Kiss them & Be Kind 

I am sitting on my couch with Oliver. We have Tom and Jerry (or if you are my boys… Jerry and the mouse 😂😂) on TV. I am wearing a dress that is the same fabric of my couch (see below 🤣) and I am feeling pretty rough. I have a bad tummy today and lots of cramping and nausea to go with it. Sigh. But only 1 round left to go!!!! (Hopefully… scan dependant !)

I also had a not too successful school run this morning. Where I lost my temper at Sam,  he kept arguing with me till I screamed (yes one above shouting !!) DO AS U ARE TOLD AND DO NOT ANSWER ME BACK… which made him cry and me feel like the worst mother. But then again ……

When you have cancer, everyone is constantly supporting you. Whereas it’s tough being a parent. There is a lot of  judgement and you feel you are constantly being told how you should / could be doing better.

(Applicable to dads too….)

Within all this grrrrrrr, something wonderful happened 4 days ago, that makes me feel all lovely and warm and glow inside. My Nephew, Oscar, was born 😍

(Missing is mummy to Oscar… just given birth and funnily enough was happy to get dressed in peace while we all gushed over Oscar..)

Holding him for the first time, in all his wrinkly, perfect, newborn gorgeousness, reminded me, that they days can be (sooooooooo) long (don’t even get me started on the nights!) and the years far too short. That it was 4.5 and nearly 7 years since my babies were this small. That while it does seem a while ago, it also seems like yesterday. That my babies are actually boys, and only on loan to me for such a short time.

All of the above has put me into a reflective mood about parenting.

Firstly, what is the most important thing I need to try and get through to my children as their parent? I hope I get them to understand how important it is to be kind, loving, honest and true, so that these things will come to them too.

And that they need to try there best, and try again when they fail. So that they can be happy and deal with what life brings their way.

Secondly, for us parents. Why are we all doubting ourselves so much? We are all, just simply, trying our best, to bring up our children to be their best. We need a little less judgment and opinion and a little more kindness. As it is not what we say, but what we do, that is how our children will learn.

So sorry Sam that mummy screamed, I should have kept it at stern 😂.

To my brother and sister in law, who will be inundated with advice and opinions about what is best for Oscar….if in any doubt, follow what mum said to me when both mine were born… Just kiss them and be kind. 😘

Spike Milligan



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