23. Embracing Change

There is a prayer that I said many times in my childhood, due to going to a convent school, that has appeared back in my life, now our children go to catholic school.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference”

I honestly don’t know what I think about religion or God or any of that stuff, and I am not going to go into it here! However I like the message in this prayer, and it is pertinent to me and my situation right now.

After a 2.5 week wait for my scan results, I had decided that no news was good news and my scan would be clear. I was wrong. My scan showed a dodgy lymph node near my pancreas that needs investigating.

I was warned this would happen. Things would show up and need to be tested. As a result everyone seems confident that it will be nothing as it is not in a ‘cancer spread path’ and I am not to worry. (Although I have been told not to worry about a lot of things recently, all of which have happened, so it is hard not too)

So ‘Grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change‘ is going round in my head.

Luckily for me this weeks ‘don’t worry’ news was nicely cancelled out by a fantastic night of fundraising for Bowel Cancer UK organised by some wonderful friends. Firmly sitting within the ‘change the things I can’ side or the prayer. Doing something to raise money for cancer. As research really does make a difference.

It reminds me of my earlier ‘it takes a village’ blog post. How when women come together, amazing things happen. Around £700 has been raised, and boxes are still being collected so it could be more! Amazing! Helen x 2, Vicky, Lu, Georgina, and Suzanne; thank you ladies for organising something that was really good fun, while being for a good cause.

So on with my cancer journey I go. This time to the Hammersmith hospital for a endoscopic ultrasound and biopsy, that hopefully I will be fast asleep for throughout! Let’s hope it says all is ok.

In the meantime plan and look forward to Christmas. Our first in our current home. Here’s to a bit too much food and wine. To singing carols and watching nativity plays. To putting up our Xmas trees and stressing about the lights. To log burning fires, warming stews and mulled wine. Let’s not forget lots of chocolate and cheesy movies. All spent with family and friends. Here’s to ending 2017 on a high. It’s been a rough one, but also a good one, full of love, laughter and living.




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